🎭 A Midsummer Day’s Freelancer
Characters
HELENA OF XCLUSI.VA – A noble and brainy freelance professional, wielder of systems, scribe of elegance, and virtual dame of many trades.
SIR CLIENTALOT – A befuddled yet ambitious businessperson seeking salvation from chaos.
NARRATOR – The omniscient voice of dramatic context.
MESSENGER BARD —a rhyming herald bearing reviews and poetic praise.
THE SHADOW OF DOUBT —a sneaky little voice representing imposter syndrome.
TIME, THE TASKMASTER – A ghostly figure with an hourglass and clipboard.
ACT I: In Which Chaos Doth Reign
[Scene: A cluttered digital kingdom—broken calendars, rogue emails, and chaotic spreadsheets everywhere.]
NARRATOR:
Attend thee now to yon business realm,
Where Sir Clientalot struggles at the helm.
With inbox wild and invoices askew,
And not a blessed soul to guide him through.
SIR CLIENTALOT (crying to the heavens):
Oh fie! Oh, pestilence upon these tasks!
I cannot post, I cannot write, and I cannot even find my flasks!
Where is that blessed soul, with spreadsheet grace,
Who'll save me from this dismal digital place?
[Enter: HELENA OF XCLUSI.VA, dramatically, holding a golden laptop and a cup of peppermint tea.]
HELENA:
Did someone call for order, calm, and flair?
For copy crisp and social media fair?
For one who juggles tasks both great and small,
And maketh sense of schedules, most appal?
SIR CLIENTALOT:
Art thou a wizard? Nay—an angel, surely!
For thou dost speak of spreadsheets most demurely!
But what dost thou offer, noble dame?
HELENA (bowing):
I offer The Final Touch—a sacred name.
For words that sing and never stumble,
With edits sharp and grammar humble.
Recruitment is fine, and menus are grand,
And leads pursued with tireless hand.
From blog to post, from script to scroll,
I serve with speed and heart and soul.
ACT II: The Freelance Temptation
[Scene: A keyboard-lit library of wonders. HELENA guides SIR CLIENTALOT through her services.]
HELENA:
Need'st thou a proofread tome or snappy blog?
A tweet, a thread, a post that cuts through fog?
I write with elegance, with purpose clear,
Each comma placed with care sincere.
And if thy staff doth err or go astray,
I’ll find thee better ones by end of day.
SIR CLIENTALOT:
What sorcery! What digital alchemy!
Canst thou also chase those who owe me fee?
HELENA (winks):
Aye, and with charm! No debtor escapes.
The freelance queen who wears all capes.
ACT III: The Doubt Ariseth
[Enter: THE SHADOW OF DOUBT, a wiggly, whispering nuisance.]
SHADOW OF DOUBT (hissing):
But how can one be master of so much?
Surely she fibs—this is but a crutch!
HELENA (brandishing a Google Doc):
I chase no glory—my clients speak!
Read their reviews; they are so bold and unique.
[Enter: MESSENGER BARD with scrolls of glowing testimonials.]
MESSENGER BARD (singing):
“Oh noble Helena, bless’d and true!
She fixed our prose and invoices too!
With calendars she dances well,
And chased our tasks from spreadsheet hell!”
SIR CLIENTALOT:
Enough! I need thee now, my queen of grace!
Please organise my files—and feed my base!
ACT IV: The Time Hath Come
[Enter: TIME, THE TASKMASTER – a glowing figure tapping its hourglass.]
TIME:
Lo! Tasks aplenty, deadlines near!
Yet Helena shows no hint of fear.
HELENA:
With breath I stretch, with mind I slay,
And yoga, soon, shall light my day.
From proof to post, from script to dish,
Your every task is fulfilled as wished.
FINALE: The Digital Kingdom Reborn
[Scene: Everything is in order. SIR CLIENTALOT dances, emails sing, blogs go viral.]
SIR CLIENTALOT:
What joy! What peace! I now can think!
My empire runs smoother than a sync!
I toast to thee, O freelancing sage,
Who bringeth light to every page!
HELENA (smiling):
Remember this, dear business folk,
You need not drown in task or yoke.
For when the chaos starts to bite—
Call on Xclusi.va, your guiding light.
✨ EPILOGUE ✨
NARRATOR:
Thus ends our tale, but heed this tip:
Hire well, lest madness make thee slip.
For when thy world doth need repair,
Look for the one with laptop fair.
She who edits, plans, and posts with flair—
The freelance queen with time to spare.
